It's a Crime
Synopsis
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A young wife makes plans to get a night away from her insanely jealous husband and meet a girlfriend at a hotel for cocktails. Believing she is meeting her lover, her husband follows her to the hotel planning to surprise her in the middle of her tryst. They are both surprised at what they find when they come face to face in the hotel room, and what might have been a turning point in their relationship goes violently wrong. When an interfering hotel security officer takes matters into his own hands, will balance be restored to the situation or will the scales be tipped to imperil the young couple’s lives?
Script History
It’s a Crime had a staged reading at Cleveland Public Theater 2019.
Excerpt
ACT I
SCENE I
AT RISE: Early evening/late afternoon – after work. A comfortable home. Kari is in the couple’s bedroom finishing her makeup and getting dressed to go out for drinks. She is on her cell phone. We catch her on her phone in mid-conversation with her girlfriend Angel (unseen).
KARI
....my Mom’s to drop off her prescription – but he’ll probably trip about that, too! (Listens) Uh huh. No, girl he accused me of cheating – again - with Dalton, my boss. He is losing his mind and I’m getting kinda tired of it!
(KARI listens...Continues getting ready.)
No, I’m not going to be patient! We’ve been married four years. He’s got no cause to doubt me! What do I do? I work, come home, take care of the house, cook, take care of him, pool our money. Oh, yeah, he mentioned our five year honeymoon again.
(KARI listens, tidies up clothes, shoes she didn’t wear.)
Hawaii, I told you. (Listens.) Yeah, it would be nice, real romantic. I’d get a henna tattoo on my back for that. ... But, I don’t know, Angel, he’s crazy jealous and getting worse. I’d hate to go all that way to have a scene – like at our anniversary dinner out. (Listens.) No, he went back and apologized. And he came home and begged forgiveness. That was a .... great night! (Listens.)
Yes, but... You know what I’m saying. I’m a good woman, and I’m not gonna live my life like this on pins and needles all the time because he is so insecure. (Listens.) ... But Angel, you said yourself, that married people gotta decide to trust each other every day, not just promise to, but actually work at it.
(KARI listens, shakes her head no. Cuts in on Angel.)
Angel, he put a GPS tracker on my truck! Yes. He doesn’t know I know, but I do. What’s that expression about doing the crime and doing the time – something... (Listens.) Yeah that’s it. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Well, what about if you’re doing the time anyway? (Listens.) Girl no, I’m not trying to do that. I’ve had it. Tonight’s the night and I got something for his suspicious, doubting, can’t trust nobody.... Yeah, well you go to your church and I’ll go to mine.
(Sound of door shutting.)
He’s home. I gotta go. (Listens) Yeah, well if I get arrested, come bail me out – and bring my makeup and my flatiron. Girl, bye.
(KARI ends the call. MARCUS enters their bedroom. MARCUS looks KARI up and down. KARI smiles, welcomes MARCUS with open arms and goes in for the kiss. MARCUS sloughs the kiss, untangles KARI’s embrace and he steps back.)
MARCUS
You look nice.
(KARI preens a little with pride and smiles broadly at him.)
MARCUS
Where you going?
KARI
Baby, I told you, I’m going to my Mom’s and then Angel wanted to have a drink. Last minute wedding jitters. You know what that’s like.”
MARCUS
Yeah. I do.
KARI
Look, I know it’s your birthday, but Angel really sounded upset, and you and I are going to celebrate your birthday this weekend, anyway, - all weekend.
MARCUS
Oh, so you got time for Angel, but none for me – your husband?
(KARI Gathers her jacket, handbag, Mom’s medication, leans in to kiss MARCUS goodbye. MARCUS pulls back.)
KARI
C’mon, Marcus, don’t be like that. I’ll save some for you. You just make sure you’re awake when I get back.
(KARI exits)
END ACT 1 SCENE I
ACT I
SCENE II
KARI is walking into a hotel carrying a small overnight bag. MARCUS is watching, unseen by KARI. MARCUS has a bottle of bourbon and is drinking. He’s on his phone. (Marcus may be
sitting in his vehicle watching.)
MARCUS
Man, she’s walking into the hotel! It’s my birthday and she’s going to meet some other dude? This ain’t right, man! It just ain’t right! (Listens.) Oh hell no! Ain’t no misunderstanding. Ain’t no way Imma take this! Listen, Man, I’mma settle everything tonight! I... If she’s in there with another dude, man... If she’s in there with a DUDE!?! It’s gonna be over – over! – for real, for real! (Listens.) Whatchyou mean be reasonable!?! Reasonable!?! Man, go on man. You know what you’d do. You know what any of us would do. If it was your woman, - your wife in there with some other dude! On your birthday! Shoot, man.... I’mma han’le my bizness.
(He hangs up.)
“Oh, I’mma be reasonable alright.”
(MARCUS walks into hotel slightly buzzed. HOTEL SECURITY OFFICER 1 observes Marcus. MARCUS finds the house phone, and
picks it up.)
Mrs. Kari Tyler, puhleeze.
KARI
(Sweet and sexy.) Hello?
MARCUS
(Disguising his voice) Yeah, hey you. What room you in?
KARI
Hey Baby. What’s wrong with your voice.
MARCUS
Oh uh, just uh allergies, yeah, I’ve got ‘em bad, but that uh won’t interfere with our fun, you know?
KARI
Well, ok. It’s my husband’s birthday, so we have to be quick, you know. C’mon up. I’m in room 315.
SCENE I
AT RISE: Early evening/late afternoon – after work. A comfortable home. Kari is in the couple’s bedroom finishing her makeup and getting dressed to go out for drinks. She is on her cell phone. We catch her on her phone in mid-conversation with her girlfriend Angel (unseen).
KARI
....my Mom’s to drop off her prescription – but he’ll probably trip about that, too! (Listens) Uh huh. No, girl he accused me of cheating – again - with Dalton, my boss. He is losing his mind and I’m getting kinda tired of it!
(KARI listens...Continues getting ready.)
No, I’m not going to be patient! We’ve been married four years. He’s got no cause to doubt me! What do I do? I work, come home, take care of the house, cook, take care of him, pool our money. Oh, yeah, he mentioned our five year honeymoon again.
(KARI listens, tidies up clothes, shoes she didn’t wear.)
Hawaii, I told you. (Listens.) Yeah, it would be nice, real romantic. I’d get a henna tattoo on my back for that. ... But, I don’t know, Angel, he’s crazy jealous and getting worse. I’d hate to go all that way to have a scene – like at our anniversary dinner out. (Listens.) No, he went back and apologized. And he came home and begged forgiveness. That was a .... great night! (Listens.)
Yes, but... You know what I’m saying. I’m a good woman, and I’m not gonna live my life like this on pins and needles all the time because he is so insecure. (Listens.) ... But Angel, you said yourself, that married people gotta decide to trust each other every day, not just promise to, but actually work at it.
(KARI listens, shakes her head no. Cuts in on Angel.)
Angel, he put a GPS tracker on my truck! Yes. He doesn’t know I know, but I do. What’s that expression about doing the crime and doing the time – something... (Listens.) Yeah that’s it. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Well, what about if you’re doing the time anyway? (Listens.) Girl no, I’m not trying to do that. I’ve had it. Tonight’s the night and I got something for his suspicious, doubting, can’t trust nobody.... Yeah, well you go to your church and I’ll go to mine.
(Sound of door shutting.)
He’s home. I gotta go. (Listens) Yeah, well if I get arrested, come bail me out – and bring my makeup and my flatiron. Girl, bye.
(KARI ends the call. MARCUS enters their bedroom. MARCUS looks KARI up and down. KARI smiles, welcomes MARCUS with open arms and goes in for the kiss. MARCUS sloughs the kiss, untangles KARI’s embrace and he steps back.)
MARCUS
You look nice.
(KARI preens a little with pride and smiles broadly at him.)
MARCUS
Where you going?
KARI
Baby, I told you, I’m going to my Mom’s and then Angel wanted to have a drink. Last minute wedding jitters. You know what that’s like.”
MARCUS
Yeah. I do.
KARI
Look, I know it’s your birthday, but Angel really sounded upset, and you and I are going to celebrate your birthday this weekend, anyway, - all weekend.
MARCUS
Oh, so you got time for Angel, but none for me – your husband?
(KARI Gathers her jacket, handbag, Mom’s medication, leans in to kiss MARCUS goodbye. MARCUS pulls back.)
KARI
C’mon, Marcus, don’t be like that. I’ll save some for you. You just make sure you’re awake when I get back.
(KARI exits)
END ACT 1 SCENE I
ACT I
SCENE II
KARI is walking into a hotel carrying a small overnight bag. MARCUS is watching, unseen by KARI. MARCUS has a bottle of bourbon and is drinking. He’s on his phone. (Marcus may be
sitting in his vehicle watching.)
MARCUS
Man, she’s walking into the hotel! It’s my birthday and she’s going to meet some other dude? This ain’t right, man! It just ain’t right! (Listens.) Oh hell no! Ain’t no misunderstanding. Ain’t no way Imma take this! Listen, Man, I’mma settle everything tonight! I... If she’s in there with another dude, man... If she’s in there with a DUDE!?! It’s gonna be over – over! – for real, for real! (Listens.) Whatchyou mean be reasonable!?! Reasonable!?! Man, go on man. You know what you’d do. You know what any of us would do. If it was your woman, - your wife in there with some other dude! On your birthday! Shoot, man.... I’mma han’le my bizness.
(He hangs up.)
“Oh, I’mma be reasonable alright.”
(MARCUS walks into hotel slightly buzzed. HOTEL SECURITY OFFICER 1 observes Marcus. MARCUS finds the house phone, and
picks it up.)
Mrs. Kari Tyler, puhleeze.
KARI
(Sweet and sexy.) Hello?
MARCUS
(Disguising his voice) Yeah, hey you. What room you in?
KARI
Hey Baby. What’s wrong with your voice.
MARCUS
Oh uh, just uh allergies, yeah, I’ve got ‘em bad, but that uh won’t interfere with our fun, you know?
KARI
Well, ok. It’s my husband’s birthday, so we have to be quick, you know. C’mon up. I’m in room 315.